Jody Kerzman


I tease my teenage daughter about texting all the time, but the truth of the matter is, I text a lot more than she does. Our cell phone bill proves it.

I'm like a teenager, trapped in a 30-something's body.

Here's a pretty typical text conversation with one of my best friends, who lives only two blocks away:

Me: I miss you.

BFF: Sooooooo ditto

Me: Do you have time for lunch tomorrow? Or drinks?

BFF: Holy crap. Lunch! Let's do it!

The next day we had the most fabulous lunch together. We caught up on work gossip, kid drama, husband complaints (sorry honey) in about an hour.

It's an hour that never would have happened without texting.

Texting is an easy, quick and oh-so-convenient for busy women to communicate, and it's just one of many ways I've learned to be creative in making time for myself and my friends. I hate to point out the obvious, but let's face it -- life as a mom is busy. Whether you work outside the home or not, the kids always need something: a ride, help with homework, a bath. It takes effort, and creativity, to get that very important "mom time."

But how the heck do you find time to see your friends? I've got some tried, true, and creative suggestions.

* Sign the kids up for the same activities your friends' kids are doing. Seriously. This works. I do it all the time. For example, while Lizzy is diving and paddling in the pool, I visit with long lost friends whose kids conveniently happen to be in the same class. The kids leave happy because they got to swim, and the moms leave happy because they got to have a little mom time.

* Put the kids/husbands/grandparents to work. Who says mom has to be the one to help with homework? Dad can take a turn, or older kids can babysit for a few hours so mom can go out for supper with friends. Grandmas remember what it's like to be a busy mom; plus they are usually looking for an excuse to spoil the grandkids.

* Embrace technology. A text, an email, a Facebook message, five minutes on Skype -- they're all better than nothing. If that's the only way you can stay connected with your friends, then go for it. And I've realized it's even ok to check your friend's Facebook page while you're supposed to be watching your kid play volleyball. Just don't tell my kids.

* Go to Target. I am completely serious. Every time I go to Target, whether to buy groceries, make a return, or buy a coffee, I see a handful of friends I don't see often. In ten years our kids will be less dependent on us and we can schedule real get-togethers. Meantime, the bread aisle at Target works for us.

* Realize that as you get older and have kids, your friends will change. That's not to say you and your college roomie won't still be BFFs, but you'll also have a new circle of friends. I look at my friends now and realize that most of my close friends, my friends that I see a lot, are parents of my kids' friends. I feel blessed to know them and call them friends, and I owe those special friendships to our kids.

Bottom line, friend time is good for the soul. A few hours away from our kids and husbands is rejuvenating. I truly believe it makes us better moms and wives. I challenge you to spend some time with your BFFs, whether it's while shopping for peanut butter, over a cup of coffee or maybe an online chat.

You'll be glad you did.

Jody is married to Brad, and they have four super-busy kids. When she isn't at one of their events, she's probably driving them somewhere.