Stacey Lang
 
 
    
 
Stacey Lang and her boys head for an ice cream treat. (Submitted photo)
 
 

 
A typical spring play day for these North Dakota boys. Despite the snow in the background, it was warm enough for Stacey Lang's sons to take their shirts off. (Submitted photos)
 
 

I grew up in a family of girls, so when my husband and I were expecting our first little bundle of joy and the ultrasound showed us we were having a boy, I have to admit I was a little unsure. On one hand, I was excited because most of my youth was spent playing superheroes or sports with the boys. I quickly learned, however, that being a tomboy does not prepare you for living with and caring for boys.

Fast forward almost a decade, and I'm now raising not one but two boys. Our oldest is almost 9 and our youngest is 5. For many who have raised boys, the following list will seem all too familiar.

1. Logic does not apply.

I don't know how many times I have caught myself saying "Why would you do that?" This past spring, I was up on the roof taking down the Christmas lights while the boys were riding their bikes. All of a sudden, I heard a little voice say, "Hi Mommy!" Instant panic took over, and I looked to my right to see my youngest standing on the roof. Yes, my 5 year old scaled the ladder and pulled himself onto the roof. He was quite proud of his accomplishment. Luckily, I was able to stifle my fear and get him down safely, and we went on with our day.

2. They are busy.

When our first son was about 9 months old, he started to walk, and within days he was running. Objects constantly in motion have a higher chance of coming into contact with other, more stationary objects, which leads me to my next point:

3. Stock up on extra-large Band Aids.

The few big Band Aids that come in the variety pack are typically the first ones to get used up in our house. We have no use for the little, round Band Aids -- we could just as well give those to my friends with little girls. Nope, with boys it's usually road rash on their elbows and knees where only the big bandages will do. This ends up ultimately making you ...

4. Expect ER visits.

When our 8 year old was a toddler, we had two ER visits within a few months from cuts he had gotten by tripping and falling. On the second visit, we were pulled into a room to be asked the mandatory social services questions. As we were going through those, he managed to trip and re-open the wound we had just come in to get fixed. The nurse stopped to help him and said, "I think we can be done with the questions."

5. Use extreme caution with dirty socks.

Little boys' dirty socks could possibly be the dirtiest thing on earth. There have been times where I swear there was an entire mini eco-system inside of their socks. Because of this...

6. Your laundry room is constantly in use.

But when it comes to boys, it's not just their socks that are dirty. Any opportunity they have, they can and will get dirty. Buying light-colored clothes that show stains easily is not advised.

7. Boys can turn anything into a chance to wrestle and/or get physical.

Today it was an argument about who got to use the hand dryer first at Ground Round. Seems like a good reason to throw a few punches, right?

8. Beware the burp.

Speaking of restaurants, despite my best efforts to teach them table manners, little boys find it extremely funny to burp in public. Instead of embarrassment, they claim it proudly: "Sorry! Excuse me!" There was honestly a time when my youngest, at about 3, silenced a whole section of a restaurant with his burp. To this day, I'm still not sure how a loud man belch came from such a little human.

9. They are very inquisitive and constantly ask questions.

"Which is faster, a train or boat?" "If an alligator fought a crocodile, who would win?" (Note to new moms: Siri can be helpful for some of these.)

10. You say things that you never thought would come out of your mouth.

I have recently found myself uttering the following: "Boys, can you please take your Fartblaster guns off of the dinner table?" and "No, that is not a bathroom and you cannot pee there."

There are days when I think it would be great to have little girls, but then I look at my boys and I know there was a reason God gave me these precious, ornery little guys. They keep me busy, and they make me laugh every day. I couldn't ask for more.



 
Stacey Lang is the marketing and retail ad director for The Bismarck Tribune. She is married and has two boys and two furballs. She is mildly addicted to time-consuming crafts and Pinterest but cannot cook a meal without burning something.